Action Netball for the Over Forties

I must be honest, I don't have a clue what the cartoon is about, but I found it highly amusing nevertheless.  Being close to 50 and never having played netball in my life, I now find myself on a team in one of the lower leagues of our local action netball club.  The vast majority of the team being in their twenties, I consider myself a veteran.


Violence on the Court
As the cartoon suggests, action netball is actually a violent contact sport to an over forty sedate (wink wink) woman.  I played hockey and women's football in my day, yet I find action netball to be far more fast and furious.  In 2 practices I have seen 2 of the women sprawled across the court in a most unladylike manner.  I woke up this morning after last night's practice with extremely stiff tendons in my ankles.  For goodness sake, it is my flabby tummy that needs to feel stiff, not my very slender tendons in my ankles!


How to be a Succesful Over Forty on the Netball Court
In 2 practices I have learnt quite a lot while leaping around with young, nimble, athletic girls.  So, for all you over forty women out there looking for a fun workout, take heed. 


1.  Look agressive -  actually it is quite easy to look aggressive just by the size of my over forty body, in comparison to the young gazelles playing with me.  All I have to do is put a scowl on my face and grunt repeatedly.  I wonder why young Candice keeps rolling on the floor with laughter..


2.  Move continuously and jump a lot - unfortunately after 5 and a half minutes of such behaviour I may have to be removed from the court to prevent a heart and lung failure.  My goodness, I do need to get fit.


3.  Act like you know what you are doing - when they shout, "foot error", "net abuse" or "handling", nod your head and tut tut under your breath.  Learn a rule or 2 and keep shouting them out authoritatively when others abuse them.  My pet rule is "3 feet away!" when my opponent is crowding in on me.  


4.  Go to the loo just before you play or practice - oh my goodness, at my age when I put to much enthusiasm into a leap, I find that I nearly wet my pants with the effort.  The ensuing squeals of laughter from my team mates when I mention it, make me join in the squealing and the need to pee is even stronger..


As I learn more, I shall pass on my secrets.  Meanwhile I am preparing for my next practice on Sunday afternoon and my first game next Wednesday night.


Olympic Games, here I come!